It sucks when you depend solely on one person and they don’t you. I have a meager, handful amount of friends and I’d go to the moon and back from them. It’s just that I doubt they’d do the same. My friends all moan about how they want to be somewhere else with a different group of people. I do the same but I just don’t have another ‘group of friends’. I could always be replaced. Most of the time I think it’s just that- if they had the choice I would be replaced.

I forgot what it was like. Before all of this. I’m tired of worrying whenever I pick up a piece of cake, a sliver of chocolate. I’m tired of having to make up for it the rest of the day. I’m tired of thinking all the things that I do and not being able to express it to anyone else. I’m tired of feeling alone when I’ve got a fair amount of friends. I don’t know anything anymore. I can’t tell a truth from a lie because I’ve been lying to myself for so long. I don’t know whether I’m fine or not. I just don’t know.